In modern society not having a social media platform where you share at least part of your life is farfetched.
Social media has been taking over our lives in good ways and bad ways. After my last trip to turkey me and my dad had a conversation about how I portray my life on social media. He mentioned a couple of stuff like how I overshare and how I tend to not project the entire truth rather a side of it. He said that social media to me became an obsession… an unhealthy one! I mean here I’m sharing with you guys a private conversation between me and my dad if this isn’t, prove that I overshare I don’t know what is.
After some arguing back and forth, we both came up with this challenge that I overtook. On the next family trip, which took place at the end of October, I shall not post on social media anything. Sort of like it didn’t happen. In addition to that, I will be abandoning all social media platforms. It was tough. Very tough!
I love challenges and I love to win! I force my self to win. It is part of my nature you can’t take me down without a fight. So, going into this challenge I knew I will win but not going to lie my unconscious had doubts. I post on the daily basis or at least every other day so not posting anything for 5 whole days. Not interacting with anyone for 5 days felt like something impossible for me to do but I had to win.
First day (No social media)
I like to call this stage the denial.
I was convinced that I will break, I had just posted an Instagram post letting my followers know I won ‘t be available the next 5 days. Writing the caption to that post was surreal. I almost didn’t want to post. “If I didn’t share it didn’t happen” that sentence was repeating itself over and over again in my brain. I think to make myself happy my brain convinced itself that I will break tomorrow and post. I mean I was getting reunited with my younger sister. I was on a family trip. Yet to make me happy I had to go into a denial stage and just convince my brain that I will post tomorrow. How sad am I?
Second day (No social media)
The withdrawal stages.
I woke in the morning tempted to open social media, check what everyone was up to. I reached for my phone and then put it back on the table side. I then proceeded with my day. Constantly nagging about not being able to use my phone. According to my sister (please excuse the language) I was more of a bitch than usual. I was down, frustrated with everyone and making everyone’s life a living hell. I didn’t enjoy this day at all. We visited a couple of sites that I would have loved to take a picture in front of, but I was too frustrated and focused on not being able to post and see what people are up to.
Day 3 (A little social media)
I didn’t post anything, but I managed to have a quick look on Instagram … I cheated but you wouldn’t understand the happiness I felt! I scrolled through Instagram for 5 min then shut my phone. Promising myself I will make this day the best day I had. It wasn’t I was unhappy. Again, frustration built up and I was angry with everyone. My sisters literally told me just post something, screw it. I was determined. I told myself two more days, we can do it. Don’t let your dad win! As the day went by, I was more and more displeased.
Day 4 (No social media)
In the words of my family “ You are a drug addict in rehab having all kinds of withdrawal symptoms” Add some hysterical cries out of nowhere to being disgruntled, annoyed, unfulfilled. Those hysterical cries were followed by hysterical laughs I was a woman that went mad. A mad woman!
Day 5 ( No social media)
Calmness after the storm
Waking up that morning knowing I’m taking a plane back to Qatar was the happiest I have ever been. I was in a different country with a different culture, people, and food. A country that has so much to offer and my source of happiness was getting on a plane back to Qatar.
I was planning to share my trip on here. Sharing the endless family photos that we took and my multiple breakdown videos. While, watching them I looked at how irritated I’m in all of them and was very disappointed in myself yes I won the challenge. Nonetheless, I realized my happiness is controlled by social media. People that I have never met in real life control how I feel. Control the path I take. I live for social media. How sad is that?
I thought I would be fulfilled at the end of this trip. I would’ve experienced a country in my own eyes and not behind a lens or a glass screen, but I was wrong. This is why I decided to not share anything about it on here. I want it to be a trip that I took and is only stored in my memories and not on any platform.
Since these thoughts haunted me the past week a friend of mine recommended, I read a book called society of the spectacles. This book discusses the development of a modern society in which authentic social life has been replaced with its representation: “All that once was directly lived has become mere representation”.” The decline of being into having and having into merely appearing”. It is one of the most fascinating books I read. It uses philosophy to explain how our modern world is attached to their social life. How basic things like traveling and experiencing the world became something meaningless. A show that you put on for your audience.
Reading this book has opened my mind and revealed things about me that I didn’t see before. I still post everything on social media… yes but I know for a fact I can let it go any minute and not look back or regret it.
I will leave you with this quote from the book that I love “… in the case where the self is merely represented and ideally presented there is not actual where by proxy it is not”
The fact we exist for another self-consciousness by being acknowledged or recognized is very heart- rendering. The only thing that is our own is our self-conscious and our time. Use them both wisely!
Until next time, crave the dish…